So, I bought a collection of exotic, taxidermy beetles because I thought it would be a fantastic idea to cast them in sterling silver, set them with stones and turn them into fabulous head dresses and accessories for my dolls, but the problem is that now that I have it, I can't bring myself to harvest the parts I need. No, not because they are beautiful, which they certainly are, but because they gross me out. I'm scared to touch them.And dear god, do they smell bad. Especially after I opened the sealed box. I don't know what repulses me more: the thought of having to dismember them or the nauseating stench they emit. And I can't figure out if it's formaldehyde I'm smelling or decomposition of their fat, juicy beetle intestines. I know they are supposed to be emptied out for preservation, but I do not want to cut into one and find out otherwise.
I didn't think it would be this hard for me to do this. I just assumed that my excitement over making beautiful objects from muli-legged creatures' body parts would automatically override my fear of dismembering them. Well, that hasn't happened yet. Every day for the past two weeks I've been trying to get used to the idea. A couple of times a day i get a glass of water or occasionally, a beer, sit down in my arm chair across from the display case and look at it for fifteen minutes like it's a staring contest. So far, the bugs are winning it. When I work at my desk, the case is directly behind me and countless times during the day I suddenly inerrupt my work flow, swing around in my chair, put my feet up on my desk and look at it some more with a withering stare. As if i'm trying to catch it off gurard or something. Just sit there and look at my dead, gaint insects while imagining beautiful crowns with scorpion pincers and beetle legs.I'm not even really sure of what exactly I'm going to make with them. I know it will come when I'm working. I have a sixth sense about that stuff. I just need to start working with them.
I've decided to take this to my friend/casting technician, Ryan, to help me dismember these beetles. There is strength in numbers. Worst case scenario is that Ryan will freak out even more than me and then I will feel like the brave one and my squeamishness will disappear.It's got to get done. I can't let my fear get in the way of art. I will have to get over myself. And that's it and that's that.
Sketch of the week:10-Alice
Yup, I had a totally different vision of Alice when I had made this sketch. My sketch book provides a glimpses into the evolution of my aesthetical preferences over time.Some of the earliest Alice sketches from 2006 show an entirely different concept than what the completed doll looks like. In the end, I did incorporate some of the classical features of Disney Alice into my own interpretation to maintain a sentimental connection to this well known character.
When is Tim Burton's Alice coming out? Kind of curious to see that movie.
Sketch of the week:9-Bride of Frankenstein
Sorry I'm a bit late with my sketch of the week segment. I fell asleep really early yesterday.This sketch was shown at the Villa Terrace museum during my first solo show in April-June 2009. Almost every doll in the show was accompanied with a concept sketch. This one is for The Bride of Frankenstein doll. I think I will show all the sketches that were in the show in the upcoming Sketch of the Week segments. Enjoy.click the image for a larger version
Enchanted Doll in The Vision magazine- Denmark
in Press
This fashion magazine is based in Copenhagen. I just got it in the mail yesterday. It's the August 2009 issue, so those of you living in Northern Europe might be able to buy it outside of Denmark this month.This is one of my favorite features, despite the fact that it's only one page long, because of the way the content of the interview is framed by the writer. The article features the photograph of the media favorite- The Bride of Frankenstein. Yup, they just loooove her. I think my other dolls are getting jealous of the attention she is getting.You can read the full article hereIn other news- I just finished that special tattoo I had mentioned a couple of posts ago. I'm rapid drying it so that it can go in the kiln this afternoon and be ready for painting tomorrow.
Sketch of the week 7- Agnetha
Some of you have been asking to see Agnetha's sketches. There are several pages of Agnetha related drawings and doodles in my sketch book, but these three are the most relevant ones. From top to bottom are sketches for crown, collar and dress fringe. I did a lot of preliminary work drawing some aspects of the costume out, before actually starting it, making Agnetha one of the least improvised ball jointed, costumed dolls of mine. She was also the very first doll on 1:6 scale, I've made in my quest for a perfect doll.
To get symmetry in the violate dress fringe, I drew out a single matrix of the design by hand and then had Chad reproduce and tile the rest of it in photoshop, thus creating a repetitive pattern for embroidery. But, of course it got changed around once I began embroidering it.Metal is not as permitting of improvisation as other mediums, such as embroidery. Such precision is required in sawing out a design with a saw blade the thickness of dental floss, that you can't just change your mind about this or that right in the middle of it. The unforgiving hardness of metal coupled with a small size of the design and the thinness and delicacy of the sawing blade which tends to break with the smallest changes in direction, won't allow it. Every single detail must be worked out in the sketching stage and once that is done, you're committed to that design. This crown took me a week to design and get the necessary materials, about two hours to saw it out of a sheet of Sterling silver and about 12 hours to file, sand, solder and set with stones. Once I started making it, I didn't stop until it was finished. Soldering was the most nerve wracking part, always is for me because of my fear of open flame and flammable gasses and the danger of making a mistake and accidentally melting the project. Or, having a leaky gas tank or a torch and blowing myself up. I actually did almost melt this crown. It's so thin and delicate, I'm surpirsed I didn't.And there you have it, ladies and gents.I just got a fashion magazine from Copenhagen, Denmark with a short, one page feature on Enchanted Doll. I'll post it soon.
Collar cast in Sterling Silver and polished-Finally
Here it is. I took some snap shots in front of my window. The surface is soooo shiny and reflective that I found it difficult to get a good photo of it in the natural light, but wasn't in the mood for setting up a well-lit shot. I've got more important things to do today than worry about the perfect composition. I'll do that when the collar is on a doll. Then I'll go nuts.Today, I'm working on finalizing some last nude orders and developing a new tattoo design. Of course it's not just a tattoo, it's something more than that. This tattoo has a somewhat different function than an ordinary tattoo. It will be something else if it works out. It might be a huge failure though. We shall see.Right now I'm anticipating going into an intense show preparation mode and I guess my brain is gearing up for some serious creativity. Last night as I was sanding some parts, my mind was going into a thousand different directions at once, at 200 km an hour. Whatever the speed of thought is, my thoughts must have been doing double that. I was experiencing a type of neurotic inspiration that overwhelms all other senses like a tsunami of creative thought and creates a euphoric state of hyper awareness when everything is clear and every problem has a solution. I guess it's like an adrenaline rush of mental activity. The problem with it, is that it's exhilarating for only a couple of hours and then it turns into a sort of paranoia, because ideas just keep coming faster and faster until everything is spinning out of control and thinking turns into a counterproductive activity. I've come to call this type of inspiration a Creative Thought Hemorrhage, because after a while my head begins to hurt form all the ideas as if I actually burst a blood vessel in my brain.Last night I had to take two Advils and watch a couple of episodes of air crash investigation just to calm me down. Yeah, I know. Air crash investigation. About commercial airlines carshing with high fatalities. To calm me down. I don't know why I find National Geographic's shows about disasters so soothing. I often have them playing in the background while I work. Either that, or relaxing nature sounds by Solitudes. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Song Of The Dolls-Enchanted Doll on poetry book cover.
This is the other book I mentioned earlier. I love how the looks photo printed on the textured paper. It definitely enhances the picture but it doesn't scan too well.Also, I've got some more news about that silver collar. I finally have one ready to show. It looks fabulous. I'll put a couple of pictures up today or tomorrow, while I complete the assembly and put together a series of pictures to show different stages of progress. Maybe I'll run it in my sketch of the week section on Monday or Thursday. So, stay tuned.
Enchanted Doll on magazine covers 2009
in Press
Three is a profound number. I'm embarrassed to say that I don't know the origins of its importance, but I intend to find out.A third magazine this year has featured Enchanted Doll on its cover. Woo!The cover girl is the Mermaid Song held in Chad's hands, so Chad's hands are sharing the spotlight with her. The magazine is called Tattoo Extreme. Inside, there is an eight page spread about tattooed, porcelain dolls. It's printed in Taipei, Taiwan and it's all about ink and body art. I'm very pleased that I was featured alongside some very talented tattoo artists even though I am technically not one of them. The spread looks fantastic. I wish I could tell you where it can be bought in North America, but I don't know. But you can go to their website and order a copy from there.Stand by for more magazinesThe spread can be viewed in my Published work section
Sketch of the week 6-Concubine origins
Another example of me not following my sketch.My initial idea for a concubine was heavily influenced by ancient Mesopotamian, tribal clothes. She started out looking very ethnic, like a Bedouin princess, but gradually evolved into a more refined, regal lady of the court. So, I pretty much started out with one doll and ended up with something totally different. And this is often the case. While I work and follow my instincts, it all makes sense, but then the project is finished and I look at the disparity between the sketch and the doll and wonder, "How the heck did this happen?" But I've learned to trust my instincts. The heart wants what it wants, and my hands comply subconsciously, making decisions seemingly on their own.But I always second guess my instincts anyway. A lot of times it's a waste of time, but I have to do that in order to negotiate the proper course of action and achieve the balance between ideas and execution.Imperial Concubine's Gallery
Sketch of the week 5-Nitocris' crown.
This is a sketch for a project from 2006. This early doll Nitocris is a portrayal of a Egyptian pharaoh of the sixth dynasty who avenged the political assassination of her brother at the hands of traitors by inviting them to a banquet in a sealed room and then flooding it with Nile. Some stories say that she chose to remain inside and die with her victims while others claim that she committed suicide later. Her very existence is not a proven, historical fact, but since not many things from four thousand years ago are, I choose to believe in her life and death.You can see significant differences between the sketch and the actual piece. Although a sketch is a good thing to have before embroidering a design with beads, I often deviate from it quite a bit. My beading style is very instinctive and tactile. I let my needle and my beads take me in the direction that feels right, regardless of the sketch, relying instead on my immediate sense of composition, color and shape. So, every bead embroidery session is a form of improvisation with changes, surprises and excitement about the evolution of the design. Making up the design as I go is like discovering a secret, one bead, one stone, one pearl at a time. The process is incredibly slow but interesting at the same time because you feel that all that repetition is going to turn into something wonderful when it's complete. And that makes it all worth it.The monotony begins as soon as I finish the design on one side and start replicating it on the other. Repeating a pattern is definitely easier and less time consuming than figuring it all out, but it's not very entertaining. And that's why I never replicate beaded costumes: I've already discovered its secret and without that mystery, the bead-work is nothing but hundreds of hours of soulless repetition. And that is not worth my precious time.
State Property Gallery
in New Doll
State Propery now has a gallery in the Costumed Dolls section of the site. There are various shots of her, with close-ups of the tattoo, and there's even a guest appearance by another new doll...As previously stated, the doll is still a work in progress, so there will be more images added once she's completed.So head on over to her gallery to see the pics.
Sketch of the week 4- Halo for State property
These sketches are from summer 2007 when I was road-tripping in Italy with Chad and his parents. We had an RV and we drove around the whole country from Milan to Sicily for almost two months. It was fantastic. I got to see everything I had studied in Art History 101 in my first year of art school.In the upper left corner and bottom right corner of the sketches you can read Venice 2007 and Florence 2007. That's where I was when I made these. You can see that I was heavily influenced by the religious iconography, which dominated Italian Renaissance art. Honestly, it was all about Jesus and the Virgin. Frankly, it kind of got a bit monotonous after about 300 paintings and four dozen cathedrals or so, but it was inspirational too. Throughout history people have produced some breathtakingly beautiful things in the name of the invisible man who lives in the sky and controls the world. I find it awe-inspiring and deeply disturbing at the same time. Religion makes no sense to me.So, obviously I've had the whole halo and religious reference project on my mind for quite some time. It's good to be finally working on it.
Enchanted Doll in Coilhouse magazine
in Press
About a year ago I was walking by a bookstore in this trendy, bohemian shopping district in Vancouver and I saw a really cool-looking magazine cover with a tittle COILHOUSE in the window. I thought to myself that I would really like to have my work featured in this magazine. Then, while I was in Paris a few months later I accidentally stumbled across this magazine's website again while searching for alternative art galleries in downtown Paris. As I browsed through the site, I became even more intrigued by the content of the magazine and wished again that I could be a part of it one day.That day came just a week later when Coilhouse magazine editor emailed me requesting an interview for an Enchanted Doll feature in their upcoming issue. The coincidence and the timing was so uncanny that it was as if I wished it into being. As if Coilhouse had received my telepathic message and contacted me. This is by far not the first time something like this has happened to me and I've come to believe that I have way more power over my destiny than it seems possible.It almost feels like magic sometimes you know; as if you can bend the universe to your own will with a mere thought. But I know that perception is false- it takes much more than a thought to make something happen. I believe in randomness and chaos: there is no such thing as fate. We make our own destiny and create our own opportunities.Like they say: When there is a will, there is a way.The full spread can be found in my press section. I love the layout. Check out COILHOUSE website and show your support by getting a subscription to the magazine. It's really cool. We need more publications like this one instead of stupid women's magazines such as Self (recent Kelly Clarkson photoshoped cover scandal) or Cosmopolitan that feed women nothing but relentless product advertising, celebrity worship, self doubt and false beauty ideals. It makes me so mad that I wish nothing but ruin and bankruptcy on them.Maybe if I wish really really hard again......
Sketch of the week 3-Pregnant Tattooed doll.
Concept sketches for a pregnant doll. I was imagining her with short hair and actually made her a very short Edie-like wig at first, but it didn't work with her face. I don't usually make such detailed sketches anymore as I consider it a little bit of a waste of time. It isn't really, but I figure why spend lots of time on a detailed sketch when I could spend it on actually making the thing. All I usually draw these days is a quick outline or a doodle just to remind me of the project while most of the sketch gets stored inside my head. The reason I made these is because a magazine asked me for them to go along with the article. I don't know if they will end up using either one.
Just a little something I made last week
A pregnant, tattooed doll.It's a work in progress: I'm still thinking about the head dress. I was so mentally fatigued from working on orders that I just had to make something else. A Tattoo Extreme magazine in Taipei is running a cover story on Enchanted Doll this month and I was hoping to finish this new doll in time for the August 10th deadline. But I don't think I'm going to make it even if I send it to the publisher right now, because the issue is probably going to print as I write.This piece, titled "State Property" is a part of the triptych composition of three dolls under a working tittle "The holy trinity of traditional womanhood". And I don't mean that in a good way. Well, this project is kind of loaded with gender politics symbolism, but I don't want to talk about it just yet. This is just a peek. Chad and I will be making a gallery for her very shortly.There you go, State Property-my first pregnant porcelain doll. I don't know how I feel about her yet. And no, I'm not pregnant and plan to never be.
Another cover for Enchanted Doll
in Press
A photograph of my very first all porcelain, ball jointed doll prototype has become the cover of this book by Marcia Bechara. I blogged about it last month just before the release party in Sao Paulo, Brazil. This morning I finally got a box of my own copies from the publisher and celebrated by taking a bunch of pictures with it. It's a collection of stories but I can't read it because it's in Portuguese. That's alright - having my work on the cover is enough. For now.
Another book cover is coming soon. This next book came out a couple of months ago in Florence, Italy and it's a collection of poetry by Umberto Crocetti. It's called "The song of the dolls". Just waiting for my copies from the publisher. Should be any day now.Things are pretty exciting around here, at the Enchanted Doll headquarters.
Sketch of the week 2- Dorian Gray
I realized that I have so many sketches that it would take me years to post them all here at the rate of one per week. So, I decided to post a sketch twice a week instead- to speed this up a little. At this rate it will only take me 10 years! One sketch will be posted every Monday and the another one two days later-every Thursday.This is a concept sketch for a Dorian Gray doll. I made it quite a while ago and have yet to start working on the project. Although I love Oscar Wilde's style of character development, I am ambivalent about the book itself. Ultimately I enjoyed it, but I thought it was missing something and I can't quite put my finger on that elusive something. *SPOILER ALERT*Perhaps it was the fact that I could not fully comprehend why Dorian was condemned as a horrible human being. Yeah, sure he ends up murdering somebody, but that doesn't happen until the end of the book while he is regarded as an indecent and a corrupted man all throughout. His great sins seem to consist of being an ever-young and immortal, drop-dead-gorgeous, charming hedonist who enjoyed money, sex and recreational drugs. Oooooooo! Big deal! Who doesn't?!I think the meaning of the book lays in the times and the social context of its inception. Today, many of the puritan social attitudes of the Victorian era have become irrelevant and extinct. Dorian's behavior may have been considered scandalous then, but has since been normalized. He was made into a monster, for acting like a human. True, he was not the best human being around. He was a vein, arrogant, narcissistic, heartless and inconsiderate- but that describes the majority of young people. Many of us tend to grow out of it. Dorian was an immortal stuck in eternal youth: In constant pursuit of new sensations and pleasures with no fear of consequences, aging or death - how lucky for him. Frankly, I'm jealous.*END OF SPOILERS*The Picture of Dorian Gray is a multi layered book and perhaps the reason I thought that something was missing from it is because I felt like it approached these really heavy and complex philosophical questions of life, death and humanity in a very light, simplified almost playful tone. But now that I think about it: why not? They have no concrete answers, why not play with them? On the surface the book definitely felt more entertaining than insightful, but it did make me think a lot afterward. I'm still thinking about it. And that's what makes a good book in my opinion.The sketch in the lower left corner has nothing to do with Dorian Gray.It's quick drawing of a vivid scene from a terrifying, erotic nightmare I had one night, about being tortured with scissors by a attractive man, who kind of resembled a young Benicio del Toro. I swear I've never felt anything more painful in my life than when he cut my thigh with slow, deliberate strokes. The pain was so real. I actually woke up weeping and choking. The strange thing is that I'm not that into sadomasochism, maybe just a little, but that dream experience was very....exciting.I have pretty awesome dreams. I've been wanting to start a big project of painting scenes from my dreams, but i don't even have time to sketch them down daily. Oh, how I need more time!
Speaking of the collar..
Oh this thing gave me so much grief!
It turned out to be every bit as difficult to replicate as my tech had expected it to be, and more. I was a lot more optimistic about molding, injecting and casting this large, yet extremely thin filigree design than him, and boy, did I get a reality check. The collar was fighting us at every stage of the process! It didn't want to get made. After two months or so, of fiddling with the molds, altering wax injections, going back and forth, trying this and that and watching it fail again and again, I must confess-a week ago I almost gave up.It's not like me to drop an ambitious project, especially after investing hundreds of dollars and countless hours of my time to see it get to this stage. I believe there is a key to unlocking every problem, but that thing almost did me in. I was beginning to consider that my design was fundamentally flawed and un-castable and that finding a key to getting it made meant going back to square one and re-designing the structure. Yet, I was so mentally exhausted from trying to figure it all out that I knew if I abandoned this approach, it would be some time before I returned to it. So, we made a last ditch effort in trying to save it, adjusted one factor in the casting process and......it came out perfectly. The key was found.I haven't had a chance to get it cleaned and polished yet. Metals don't come out all bright and shiny after casting, and look very little like the precious things they really are. Just like unpolished gems. It often requires hours to clean and polish silver to a bright shine after it's been cast. I can't wait to see this piece finished. Meanwhile I'm going to try to cast a couple more and see if it was just blind luck they turned out this time or if the formula actually works.
Sketch of the week- Corset.
Introducing a new, weekly blog feature: sketch of the week. Every Monday I will choose a page from my sketchbook and post it here. The sketch can be a recent or an old one and will not necessarily be doll-related.This corset sketch have been shown at the Villa Terrace museum during my solo show. I made these concept sketches a couple of years ago when I took a lost wax casting, jewelry class. I've been dreaming of creating metal clothes for my dolls for several years and when I began familiarizing myself with wax carving I knew right away that this method would allow me to do it. So, after my first class I came up with this very ambitious design for a 1:6 scale, silver corset. I've yet to make it, though I have a feeling that it won't be long now. However, now that I have some experience with carving jeweler's wax, I'm not sure that this design can be replicated by hand. I will most definitely give it my best shot, but this might be better suited for a machine carving. I really want one. One day I'll get it.Anyway, my first attempt at carving a functional, silver corset for a doll turned out like this. It's not bad, but I can and will do better next time.
You can find this corset in the Cinderella gallery. I'm thinking about making it available for orders at one point, only without the breast cups. I don't know exactly yet.
Little Thing
in Press
I was featured in the May issue (#06) of the Little Thing Magazine from Hong Kong. I finally got my copy in the mail today and I'm so happy. The magazine looks really interesting and covers a wide spectrum of art (from fashion photography to tiny crochet work), I just wish I could read it.I always get excited when my dolls are featured in a magazine, especially when it's in a different part of the world. My goal is to be featured in a magazine from each continent, I wonder if anyone publishes a doll magazine in Antarctica...You can see scans of the pages here, and more published work here.